


Work that Cliche

by BoyGirlBothNoneImTheUniverse



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Cliche, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Implied Relationships, M/M, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-02-16 06:46:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2259876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoyGirlBothNoneImTheUniverse/pseuds/BoyGirlBothNoneImTheUniverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Do not beat around the bush. No matter what you do, <i>Saader will not get it</i>." Brandon says insistently, pushing Andy physically like it will somehow cause the sentence to be pushed into him mentally.</p><p>"Are you calling him stupid?"</p><p>"Yes," Crow and Brandon said simultaneously.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Work that Cliche

**Author's Note:**

> AHHH this story has driven me to hair pulling, let me tell you!I struggled with the ending, but I'm not willing to hate it since this is my first Big Bang story. <3
> 
> I'd like to thank pikasafire as well as my dad because he wouldn't stop nagging me to get it done.
> 
> EDIT: Art for this fic is by pikasfire and their mix is wonderful! It is here: http://8tracks.com/pikasafire/work-that-cliche
> 
> Thanks again everyone! (Ailelie like, the most, because she helped me make a major plot decision that changed the story completely. XD)
> 
> (If you're uncertain what the end pairing will be and you want to know before reading, it's in the bottom notes.)

He was fit, that's for sure. He was solid, his muscled arms straining against his simple t-shirt. Andy thinks he sees a tattoo sleeve on his left arm, something dark and bold, but he's not quite sure given the lighting of the club he's in. The guy is certainly attractive in the looks department, sculpted with a nice smile that Andy can't help but admire. There's some scruff covering his face, not enough to make him look scruffy, just enough to suit him, something to highlight his cheekbones. He's basically delicious.

"The brunet, huh?" Saader asks, nudging Andy's elbow.

Andy blinks out of his daze, glancing at Saader. He feels his face flush at being caught gawking, his eyes going back to the guy near the bar.

"You're not being subtle about your tastes," Saader chuckles, pushing another beer into Andy's hand.

"I don't know what you mean," Andy mutters grumpily, taking the beer swiftly, causing some to slosh out out of the bottle. He grumbles sourly, taking the napkin Saader offers him with a glare and a huff on his part.

"He's Bollig incarnate," Saader says accusingly, grinning warmly, if not a little mockingly.

"Not like he would notice," Andy grumbles, poking at the soiled napkin, wet with warm beer. "He's too busy with blondie over there."

Andy unwillingly let's his eyes trail over to the aforementioned man. Brandon is sitting cozily in a low lighting booth, a blond bombshell giggling as he grins at her. Andy's sure he's telling one of his awful stories, the ones that make Andy laugh so hard he snorts. He's probably telling the girl how amazing she looks, how the lighting hits her just right. Something cheesy that he thinks will get him laid, something that would've happened anyway, given how the girl is batting her eyelashes and trailing her hand down his arm.

Andy grits his teeth and tries not to growl like his nickname might suggest he would.

"I would bet twenty dollars that if you went over there right now, his attention would immediately be on you, regardless how amazing that girl looks," Saader says from his left, flicking at Andy's ear.

"Why don't you take your own advice, huh?" Andy asks, pursing his lips and nodding his head toward the dance floor.

Leddy is flailing around, his idea of dancing, with a small red-head, the two laughing as they have a good time. The music is of the fist pumping kind, a jumping beat vibrating around them, so the couple's awkward flail fest is actually kind of hilarious to watch; to Andy anyway. The look on Saader's face says it's anything but funny.

"Don't turn this on me," Saader says, glaring at Andy. "I'm not the one staring and being a creeper."

"Creeper?" Andy says, shaking his head.

"It's all I could think of," Saader sighed, staring at his half-empty beer, his hands twitching and his fingers fiddling with the neck of the bottle.

"We're losers," Andy says, letting his head fall back to hit the back of the booth, groaning as he brings his hands up to his face. "The team is full of grouchy old people, and we're the ones sitting at the booth, nursing our first beers."

Saader groans from next to him, a thunking sound indicating he copied Andy's way of expressing his frustration. "Don't remind me."

Andy had objectively known Brandon was attractive. He was good-looking, kind, and funny. He was good with people, something Andy found hard to do sometimes, and he was pretty cheerful for a big guy. He was strong, cut like most hockey players are, and he has the ass to prove it. Andy appreciates his looks and his personality and if anyone expected him to not appreciate it, they would be sorely disappointed.

Andy hadn't expected the double threat that was Brandon Bollig. He's appreciated teammates for their looks or their personalities before, but he's never had to deal with a double threat. The threat being that he's never had a teammate that's gotten under his skin like Brandon has. Garrett came close, given that Andy has a type, but they never broke away from their friendship, so that's how it stayed. Andy had felt a pang in his chest back then, thinking of what could have been, but Garrett is a great friend and Andy no longer regrets not seeing where their attraction could've taken them.

Brandon though, Brandon made Andy feel like he was on fire. It was a burning inferno even before they were friends, a blazing heat the settled in Andy's stomach. The heat grew even warmer and even more wild as Andy got to know Brandon. Now the heat is searing, leaving Andy with a dull ache every time he thinks of his unrequited feelings.

Andy isn't exactly sure when Saader picked it up, there's no way to be certain what action or event caused him to realize Andy's feelings for Brandon, but they've had an understanding since the revelation. They're both losers who are pining after unavailable, straight teammates.

Now, if it took Saader a short time to figure out Andy's feelings for Brandon, it took Andy only a blink of an eye to figure out Saader's. It wasn't that he was obvious, no, it was that Andy saw the exact same thing in Saader that he saw in himself. Andy had followed Kaner around with stars in his eyes his rookie year, everyone knew that. Saader followed Jonny around, nodding his head along with whatever their captain said. But while their heads were stuck on their idols, both of their hearts were set on different teammates. It took one smile shared by Saader and Leddy for Andy to realize that Saader was pining and Leddy was oblivious.

With their understanding firmly set into their minds, they made a deal to never talk about it. Ever. They were both guys just trying to make it in their dream job. Just guys playing the game they loved.

Then, after an unfortunate night out in a bar after a game win, they learned something that not only shook their pact, but it utterly destroyed the foundation for their agreement.

Both Brandon and Leddy had slept with guys before.

Now, the Blackhawks weren't homophobic. They had Kaner and Tazer to deal with and never once complained about their relationship. Andy's sure the management knows something about his sexuality, he just knows it, but Andy's always been discreet in his hook ups and he's never given them a reason to confront him about it. So, honestly, it's no surprise that there'd be other players who have also been with guys that nobody knows about. Andy just hadn't expected it to be Brandon or Leddy.

Andy remembers the place being kind of dirty looking, cheap liquor and greasy bar food abound. They had the next day off, so there was some pretty heavy drinking going on. Not most people know this, but get a hockey player drunk and Andy can guarantee they'll turn into a gossiping old lady. Only with hiccups and bad booze breath. So, there the whole team was, various levels of being buzzed and being drunk, and someone had to open their mouth and start sharing. Next thing Andy knows, there's a group of them cramped into the corner booth sharing ridiculously over-exaggerated sexual tales 'from their youth'. Andy was pretty drunk, he knows this because instead of sharing a far-fetched tale, he had been curled up next to Brandon, half asleep and drooling on his shoulder. He remembers the warmth of Brandon's body, the radiating heat that made him pliant and ready to drift off to sleep. He also remembers jerking awake after hearing Brandon say he once slept with a guy only to have his boyfriend chase him out the next morning.

"No way!" Kaner had laughed drunkenly, half in Jonny's lap. "Clothes out the window and everything?"

"It was a cliche," Brandon had admitted, shrugging his other shoulder so he wouldn't dislodge Andy.

Andy had stared blankly across the table, his shocked eyes meeting Saader's wide-eyed gaze. 

Then Leddy laughed from beside him, dragging the tables attention away from Brandon and to himself.

"I once took home this guy," Leddy had started, his grin the goofy slant that comes with being buzzed, "and we're getting down and everything, right? So-"

Andy had shut it out, not caring for the story itself, but for the pronoun used. He had met Saader's eye once again, shared his look of desperate shock, before he had swallowed thickly, the stale taste of cheap alcohol now a memory in his mouth.

The realization that both their crushes (Andy hated putting it that way; they were grown men, not pining teenagers. Saader told him he thought it fit; that's how they felt, after all. Andy never brought it up again.) were open to the same sex and still had shown no interest in them was a blow to their ego and their feelings.

 

The plan wasn't well thought out on either of their parts, not at first anyway. They'd been hanging out at Andy's new place, a modest one bedroom apartment with no roommate and no one to bother them, watching a movie and eating popcorn they shouldn't be eating. They'd been curled up next to each other, the relaxed atmosphere calming them. The movie was some romantic comedy, the overused trope of the leading man and lady faking a relationship for some purpose only for them to fall in love, when Saader had perked up beside him and started shaking Andy with vigor.

"That's it!" Saader yelled, standing and pointing at the screen.

Andy had fallen over slightly, not expecting the sudden movement, but had caught himself and pushed himself back up. "What's it?"

"A fake relationship! They've seen us with other people, with other guys, but they've never seen us in a relationship! What if that's what they want? What if they don't know we're open to a relationship with a teammate, so they're just not going for it?"

"That's stupid," Andy had replied, scowling and standing up, scoffing when Saader had given him his trademark puppy eyes. "I'm not falling in love with you," Andy had huffed after a moment, grunting when Saader hugs him excitedly.

"This will work, Shawzy!" Saader had said with a grin on his face. "It just has to!"

Andy had been far less than optimistic.

-

So, now here Andy was, sitting in a hot club with Saader pressed against his side. It felt odd, his body used to Brandon's heat whenever the team went out, staying close to the man's side unless Brandon was otherwise occupied. Andy doesn't sit next to Brandon all the time, the implications and suspicion that could bring were weird and unnecessary, but it doesn't change the fact that his usual seating arrangements have been changed by a very determined Saader.

Nobody has seemed to notice, the middle of the season finally upon them, all of their teammate's attention focused on having a good time before they have to put their heads back into the game come Wednesday. There's a warm beer sitting in front of Andy, untouched since someone handed it to him. Saader is stretched out beside him, tense in an awkward sort of way, his eyes not having left Leddy since they arrived.

Andy nudged Saader with his elbow lightly, dragging his attention away from the dancing man. "Nobody has even noticed, Saader. I told you this was stupid."

"One weird incident won't make them question things," Saader explained, his eyes drifting back to Leddy. "We have to do more subtle things for the rest of the week. It will start to hint at the idea that we're together."

"Which movie did you get that from?" Andy asked with an affectionate snort.

"You would know if you stopped falling asleep on me," Saader replied, finally meeting Andy's eyes for good. "You snore."

"I do not snore!" Andy objected, fake outrage covering his face.

"You also drool," Saader said with a smirk, laughing as Andy pushed ad him with his forearm.

"Who asked you anyway," Andy huffed, settling into Saader's side with a new found sense of comfort. "You want to get out of here? They've seen us like this for the past half hour, I think we've got the first hint firmly stuck in their brains."

"Yeah," Saader agreed, scooting out of the booth after Andy. "You're right. Let me tell Jonny we're heading out. Wouldn't want the captain to get a conniption at losing us in St. Louis."

"But imagine his face," Andy shouted after Saader, grinning when Saader just flips him off, not turning around as he struggles through the crowd to find Tazer.

"Hey there, Mutt," is shouted into his ear, a warm puff of breath sending shivers down Andy's spine.

"Hey, Brandon," Andy says, smiling slightly at his grinning teammate.

"You want a drink? I'm buying," Brandon says with a devilishly handsome grin.

"No, I'm actually heading out," Andy replies, shifting in place as he scans the crowd, hoping Saader will return soon.

"Oh, I see," Brandon's grin grew impossibly wider. "Got yourself somebody to go home with?"

"What?" Andy asked, not quite catching on. When Brandon wiggles his eye brows, his grin turning into a smirk, Andy felt himself blush, realization dawning on him. "Oh, well no, but-"

"Okay, Andy, we're good. Let's get out of here," Saader says from behind them.

Andy notices that his face is flushed, a blush high on his cheeks. Andy finds himself wondering if it's from the heat of so many wriggling bodies or from something else.

"Saader?" Brandon asks, his voice bleeding with shock.

"Hey, Brandon," Saader replies, coming up to rest his hand on Andy's lower back. "I'd love to stay and talk, but Andy and I are beat. Early morning flight and all."

Saader pushes Andy away, letting him only wave a sheepish good-bye to a blinking Brandon.

"What was that all about?" Andy asks, their arms brushing together as they walk the small distance back to their hotel.

"I was running from embarrassment," Saader assures him, groaning as he holds his face in his hands. "I finally found Jonny, right? Well, I tell him I'm heading out, not to worry about us getting lost in freakin' St. Louis, and Kaner gets the bright idea that I'm about to be laid."

"Oh, god, you too? Brandon thought the exact same thing when I told him."

"Yeah, but it gets worse. Fucking idiot has had too much to drink and he announces, very loudly, that I'm about to get some. Basically the whole team was around that table and I had to open my mouth and say that I was going back to the hotel with you. I know that we want them to think that we're in a relationship, but I have never had so many people stare at me in shock."

Andy was about to laugh, the whole situation helping them, as embarrassing as it was, when Saader continues on, his hands flailing as they wait to cross the street.

"Then I run right into Nick when I try to make my escape. I got out of there without any questions, but I swore I heard him ask the others what was going on."

"Well, so much for subtle," Andy snorted, finally crossing the street and entering the hotel, a whining Saader right next to him. Andy pushes a button, summoning the elevator, and takes to lean against Saader’s side slightly. 

"We're going to have to put our next part of the plan forward," Brandon agrees solemnly, leaning against him in silent comfort. "We'll still give subtle hints, it will help, but we'll have to move on with the second phase."

"And what's that?" Andy asks as he pulls himself away from Saader, entering the elevator. Andy thinks about the warmth of Saader against him for a moment before shaking his head and pressing the button to their floor.

"Pet names," Brandon replies, staring at the shiny elevator door, leaning against Andy once again.

Andy stares at him in horror, not bothering to lean away. "Pet names?" he asks in a whisper.

Brandon nods, leaning his head against the wall of the elevator. "Affectionate banter and cuddling must also occur."

Andy grunts and let his head fall back to thud against the elevator wall. "Spectacular."

-

"I am not calling you, sweetheart," Andy objects as they carry their gear to practice on Wednesday.

"But it's a pet name!" Saader grumbles, his bag knocking Andy in the side as they make their way toward the Hawks locker room.

"My mom calls me sweetheart," Andy replies with a grunt. "What about a simple babe? Something that could be considered an accident, but catches their notice?"

"I could call you Mutt!" Saader says, his previous grumpiness turning into excited planning. "It's perfect!"

"Whatever," Andy says, rolling his eyes. He pauses only for a moment before finishing the sentence with, "babe."

Saader grinned at him, all previous anxiety gone as they enter the busy locker room. They head to their respective lockers, each ignoring their teammates' loud banter. They get undressed and into their gear quickly, giving each other glances as they progress.

"Hey, Andy," Brandon says from the other side of Stalberg, peaking out from behind him. "You wanna hang out after practice?"

"Can't," Andy shakes his head. "The Saad Father and I have some things to do."

"Yeah," Saader yells from across the locker room. "I'm taking Mutt to get neutered."

"Shut your mouth, asshole," Andy shouts back, a grin forming on his face.

"Love you too, babe," Saader replies smoothly, leaving with Nick and Hjammer.

Andy snorts, watching Saader go, before he shakes his and and finishes tying his skates. "Sorry, Brandon."

"Nah, no problem," Brandon replies. "Tell me how the procedure goes, eh, Mutt?"

Andy laughs, delighted at Brandon's ability to roll with anything, and nods. "I'll even let you sign my cone."

Andy leaves Brandon laughing in the locker room.

Practice goes smoothly, their game tomorrow night leaving them something to look forward to as they climb off the ice and back to the locker room. Saader bumps lightly into his shoulder, sweaty and red faced.

"We gonna work on our thing?" he asks.

"Yeah," And replies, rolling his neck and sighing as it cracks. "We need to think of some more stupid pet names and then figure out phase three."

"Phase three of what?" Corey asked them, walking closely behind them.

"How to bang your mom," Andy replied, cackling as Corey swatted at him with his goalie glove.

"Fine, don't tell me," Corey said replied. "But keep in mind, your plan for whatever will fail and then you'll need me and my goalie magic."

"Goalie magic," Saader mutters as he heads to the other side of the locker room, shaking his head.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Andy repeats, shoving Corey toward his cubby.

"You need me!" Corey shouts with a wave of his hand, causing several of their teammate to chuckle.

"Only on Hump Day!" Andy replies.

"Today is Wednesday," Stalzy says with an amused grin when Andy sits down next to him.

"Shh, don't tell Crow that," Andy mock whispers back, getting a disgruntled growl from Corey's direction.

-

The third phase isn't exactly hard. Andy and Saader spend almost as much time with each other as they do with Leddy and Brandon, so it's no big deal for them to be hanging out. Thus, they had to take it to the extreme.

Leddy was coming over to Saader's to hang out, play some video games, do whatever those two do when they spend time together. Andy gets a frantic call from Saader saying that he doesn't know if he can be alone with Leddy without spilling the whole plan.

Now here Andy is, having rushed through a conversation with Brandon to cancel their plans, sitting next to Saader with a coke can in his right hand and a silent Leddy on his left.

"So," Andy mutters out, taking a sip of his soda, "did you know that there's a Cow Appreciation Day?"

Andy received no reply. He took another sip, the TV a white noise in the background.

"You guys wanna play Mario Kart?" Saader asks, shifting next to Andy and leaning forward so he could see Leddy.

"Yeah, sure," Leddy replies with a goofy smile. I'm gonna go and get a drink. You guys want anything?"

Saader shakes his head leaning back into Andy's side.

"I will," Andy replies, taking a large gulp to finish off his soda. "Grab me a Gatorade?"

"Yeah," Leddy replies quickly, standing up and heading toward Saader's kitchen. "No problem."

Andy waits for Leddy to complete disappear before he turns to Saader and raises his eyebrow. "You know I had plans, right?"

"I panicked!" Saader hissed. "I'm awful at keeping secrets. Why did I let you talk me into this?"

"Talk you into this?" Andy asks with a choked off laugh. "Man, this was your idea."

"I'm still blaming you," Saader mutters, leaning to the side to rest his head awkwardly on Andy's shoulder.

Andy stays still for a moment, pursing his lips, before adjusting himself, letting Saader's head rest more comfortably against him. Andy's arm is being held above Saader's shoulder, Andy not knowing what to do with it. Eventually Andy huffs, letting his arm rest atop the back of the couch and around Saader's shoulders. "Whatever you say, babe," Andy replies quietly, the pet name still a foreign taste on his tongue.

"Hey, uh," Leddy suddenly muttered from behind them, "Mario Kart?"

"Yeah man," Andy replies, smiling at Leddy as he rounds the couch. "I call Princess Peach!"  
"You would," Saader mutters against his shoulder.

"Shut up, babe," Andy replies, pushing at him, causing Saader to sit up grudgingly.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Saader replies, grabbing the controllers for the game.

"Hey, Leddy, you alright?" Andy whispers to his silent teammate, keeping half an eye on Saader’s movements an the other on his friend.

"I'm fine, Andy," Leddy replies, meeting his eyes with a smile.

Andy shrugs, letting Leddy know he accepts his reasoning, before turning his full attention to Saader.

-

The decision to tell the team was, in itself, the entirety of the fourth phase of their plan. 

They weren't scared of rejection, not with Tazer and Kaner being the exhibitionists that they were. You would be hard pressed to be on the Blackhawks and not having seen the two in some sort of undress while being with each other. It was almost a disturbing right of passage, Andy thought distractedly, staring blankly at the team before them.

The guys were scattered around the locker room, various states of undress as they celebrated their win over Vancouver. Andy halfheartedly joked around with Brandon as he kept his eyes open for Saader. The aforementioned man seemed to be talking happily with Leddy, his eyes bright and excited, his lips curved in a smile.

Andy watches him, forgetting to continue his conversation with Brandon in favor of cataloging all of the things he hadn’t noticed about Saader before. He has nice eyes, Andy notes, a mix of grays, greens, and browns that gives him a nice steely color. The colors don’t reflect the depth of Saader’s character though. Andy has seen those very same eyes soften from their steely gray to a delighted metal to a lethargic green alloy color.

“I know you told all of us so you could make eyes at each other when we’re around, but your staring is kind of creepy, Mutt,” Brandon says bemusedly, tearing Andy’s thoughts away from the laughing Saader.

“What?” Andy asks blankly.

“I know you love the guy and all, but staring at him intensely is really weird,” Brandon replies with a chuckle.

“I don’t love him!” Andy blurts out, shocked at the accusation. He ignores the twisting in his stomach at both the accusation and the denial.

“What, he not there yet? You don’t have to hide from me, Mutt. I know that look, we all do. It’s the same sharky stare Jonny gives Kaner when Kaner’s not paying attention to him,” Brandon says with a quick laugh, acting like he hadn’t just tore up Andy’s entire delusion. 

It occurs to Andy that the plan somehow went awry. The plan, put into execution thanks to Saader’s puppy-dog eyes, somehow went so far off course that Andy no longer stared at Brandon, his supposed ideal guy, but instead, he stared at Saader, the manchild, the guy who he agreed to help get Leddy, the guy who was already in love with someone else.

Andy felt sick.  
-

Andy’s ashamed to admit he ran from his problems. He avoided Brandon, he avoided Leddy, and he avoided Saader. He was still reeling from the revelation Brandon had shoved upon him and he had no idea what he was supposed to do now.

Andy hadn’t realized how dependent he had become on the plan until he was walking blind without directions.

“You okay there, Andy? Lookin’ a little pale,” Crow asks from his side of the couch, beer can in one hand and sandwich in the other.

“I’m in love with Saader,” Andy replies in a desperate panic.

Crow doesn’t say anything for a while, chewing thoughtfully on a bit of his sandwich before swallowing and slowly grunting, “Okay?”

“Okay?” Andy hissed. “Okay? Nothing about that is okay!”

“It’s not?” Crow asked hesitantly, not quite following the problem.

"I'm in love with Saad! Don't you get it! I'm in love with fucking Saader," Andy exclaimed with a groan, clutching a couch pillow tightly. He stares at a blinking Crow for only a moment before he groans even louder, shoving his face in the pillow. "Ugh."

"Okay, one, calm the fuck down, crazy," Crow said, the couch shifting under Andy as he moved. "Two, why the fuck shouldn't you be in love with your boyfriend?"

"Hemph," Andy muttered, his pillow blocking any coherent sentence.

When he doesn't lift his head, Crow groans from above Andy. There's some more shifting before Andy is huffing in pain from a knee to the side.

"Repeat?" Crow asks when Andy finally pulls the pillow away.

Andy picks at the thread of the pillow, grumbling as he does so, until he finally mutters, "He's not my boyfriend."

Crow raises an eyebrow at that. "You came out to the team," he states simply. "You came out to the team together. As a couple."

"Yeah."

"So, wouldn't that make him, oh, I don't know, your boyfriend?"

"I mean technically speaking, yeah, when you say it like that," Andy huffs, groaning. "But that's not the full story."

"How is that not the full story?" Crow asked in confusion. "It's not like you two have been running around and faking it."

Andrew let's the silence hang in between them.

"Andy," Crow groans, "you didn't!"

"I was blind sighted by Bollig and I didn't even begin to think about Saader until it was too late," Andy confesses, hanging his head.

"Well, what do you expect me to do about it?” Crow asked in indignation.

“I don’t know,” Andy groaned again. “I’m so fucking conflicted, man."

Crow doesn’t say anything for a long time, his lips pursed and his gaze staring at the wall. Andy watches him for a while, tries to see what exactly the other man is thinking, when Crow moves unexpectedly, causing Andy to jump.

“I have an idea,” Crow says simply, his voice calm.

Andy immediately knows he’s going to hate it.

-

“Hey, uh, Brandon, can we talk?”

Brandon is quite on the other side of the line, his breathing a slight noise that barely reaches Any through his phone’s speaker.

“Yeah, Mutt, what do you need?” Brandon finally asks hesitantly.

“I like you. Well, liked you? I mean, it could be described as a crush, but that makes me sound like a ten year old girl or so Saader says, but, I mean, I love you as a bro and I’m sure if given the opportunity I could go past the crush phase, not that I’m asking for an opportunity, nothing like that I swear. See, I just-”

“Andy, man, don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“That’s what I want to talk about. See, for a long time, my attentions have been focused on, uh, you,” Andy stutters, biting his lip.  
“Okay,” Brandon says slowly, his voice not giving away his thoughts.

“And I was stupid enough to go along with Saader’s stupid ‘Make Them Jealous’ Plan because I just wanted a chance, but then I spent so much time with Saader and… shit got real, Brandon,” Andy finally finished with a sigh.

Brandon is quiet for a second, the silence pulling at Andy’s nerves, before Brandon let’s out a breath.

“Okay, first of all, I love you like a brother too, Mutt. Two, I’m happy you found someone you really like that isn’t me because wanting to make out with your brother is kind of weird. Three, who does Brandon have feelings for?”

“Thanks, Brandon,” Andy said softly, surprised at the amount of affection he had in his voice. “Leddy, actually.”

“Leds?” Brandon said in surprise, his shock coming clearly through the phone. “Nick Leddy?”

“Do you know anybody else by that name?”

“Woah, okay, here’s where it gets awkward.”

Andy hears the hesitancy in Brandon’s voice and is instantly wondering. This entire idea, the entire situation, was out of hand and the only thing that could shock him now would be-

“No,” Andy gasped out. “You two aren’t-”

Brandon says nothing after Andy’s abrupt cutoff, letting Andy know that he was correct in his assumptions. 

“Huh,” Andy said finally, leaning back in his bed, stretching his legs out.

“Yeah,” Brandon replied with an awkward laugh.

Andy says nothing the idea still mulling around in his head. He would’ve never expected those two to be interested in each other, let alone already in some type of relationship. He wondered if they were considering telling the team, much like Andy and Saader had during their plan; just with a lot more truth behind the statement. 

“So,” Andy finally muttered, his voice quizzical, “since you've got some experience dating a gross hockey player, wanna help me woo Saader?”

Brandon snorted, the phone crackling slightly with the rush of air. “You’re on, Mutt.”

Great, Andy thought, now he just needed to get Saader cooperating.

-

_"So, what exactly do I do?" Andy asks, his head tilted to the side._

_"No more lying, for one," Crow says, lifting a finger. "Don't listen to anyone when they say they have a plan. Ever."_

_"But I'm following your plan," Andy points out._

_"I don't count," Crow says with complete conviction in his voice._

*

“How will this help you get Bollig?” Saader asked skeptically, his arm warm around Andy’s shoulders.

“Trust me,” Andy said for about the millionth time that night, “This plan will help me get my man.”

Saader snorted at the word choice, chuckling softly as Andy shuffled snugger into his side. “Your man?”

“Yeah,” Andy says, “my man. The one that likes the color yellow, but tells everyone his favorite is red. The one that prefers sushi for lunch. The guy who, for some ungodly reason, likes orange Gatorade.”

Andy pauses, waiting for any sign of recognition from Saader. When he received none, Andy sighed. “Really, not getting it?”

“I mean, that was oddly specific, but,” Saader paused, not quite sure on what Andy was trying to say. 

*

 

_"Just say it, man," Brandon says from the floor. "Like, no more cliche romantic comedy moments."_

_"I liked those moments," Andy muttered to himself, crossing his arm._

_"Sure you did, sweetheart," Crow, well, crows from beside Andy._

_"Do not beat around the bush. No matter what you do,_ Saader will not get it. _" Brandon says insistently, pushing Andy physically like it will somehow cause the sentence to be pushed into him mentally._

_"Are you calling him stupid?"_

_"Yes," Crow and Brandon said simultaneously._

 

* 

“Remember Idiots in Like?” Andy asked suddenly. “That one movie where the two main character pretend to be together to catch the attentions of their love interests?”

“Idiots in Like?” Saader muttered, trying to place the title but drawing a blank.

“But then one main character realizes that they’ve spent so much time together with the other main character that they’ve fallen for them instead of their love interest?”

“I’m drawing a blank,” Saader says finally, watching Andy curiously, his arm tugging him slightly closer.

“The one main character then confesses to others about the scam the two had played, desperate to have someone tell him what to do while agonizing over whether the other main character returns their feelings?”

“Andy, man, we watch way too many romantic comedies for me to be able to-”

*

_"Oh," Andy replies simply, staring back at the duo. "I see."_

_"Do you?"_

_"Do you really?"_

_Andy says nothing._

*

Andy gave up and cut Saader off with a kiss. It wasn’t mind blowing or anything, their lips just a soft brush against each other, enough to stop Saader in his tracks and to leave Andy’s lips tingling.

“And even though the one main character told the other that they wouldn’t fall in love with them, they did it anyway,” Andy finished finally, his eyes meeting Saader’s before going down to his lips, his eyes lingering there.

Saader is staring at Andy intently, his gaze holding a confused surprised, before a spark of realization ignites in them.

“Oh,” he mutters, swiping his tongue along his bottom lip. Andy’s eyes follow the nervous motion, causing Saader to flush. “ _Oh._ ”

When he doesn’t say anything else, Andy finally meets his friend’s eyes, trying to decipher what was going on in their depths. When Saader only stared back, Andy gave an exasperated sigh.

“And then the character had to wait forty-two years to see if the other main character returned their feelings?”

“Oh, right, shit,” Sadder scrambled to say. Shifting impatiently, he swooped down and gave Andy a kiss that curled his toes.

They stayed locked together for what felt like forever, lips molding together as their tongues danced. Andy pulled back eventually, his face warming as his smile stretched across his cheeks.

“Then the other main character finally realizes that he fell for the other two, but couldn’t get it through his thick skull until it was right in front of him,” Saader replies happily, his hand coming up to play with the hair at the base of Andy’s neck.

Andy laughs, his senses finally coming in as the beat of the club registers. They’re in a corner booth alone, have been for the past hour, and it surprises Andy that he was able to hear Saader over the speakers.

Andy curls up next to his friend, excited to see where this new development would take them. He’s watching the crowd around them, his eyes flickering from face to face, when he sees Brandon and Leddy dancing together, laughing as they twirl each other around.

“Oh, that reminds me,” Andy says, leaning his head to the side so he could be closer to Saader’s ear. “The two love interests are each other’s love interests and the two main characters owe the wise cracking old lady, named Crow, a fruit basket for setting one of them straight.”

“Not too straight,” Sadder mutters, before turning to watch their two teammates. “I never would’ve guessed.”

“I didn’t think my life would turn into a bad romantic comedy, but fuck, look at us now.”

Saader chuckled lightly, cutting himself off with a cough.

“What?”

“Heh, ‘but fuck’.”

Andy paused, reevaluated what he said, before groaning and scooting away from Sadder and climbing out of the booth.

“I’m sorry!” Saader laughs as Andy flips him off, making his way through the crowd toward the bar.

God, Andy thought, he fell in love with a twelve year old.

Well, he continued after a moment, turning around to watch Brandon and Leddy do the chicken dance to Skrillex, at least Saader isn’t a nine year old.

**Author's Note:**

> Saader/Andy, Leddy/Bollig


End file.
